She really can be randomly precious. (31w3d)

There are occasions where I'm certain Mary Beth's body has been invaded by demon spirits and we might possibly need an exorcism. I'm sure it's typical female child behavior, and my mom swears I was a hundred times worse (how that is possible, I have no idea), but it nonetheless gives us pause in those moments and Jason and I will often give each other the "eyes". The oh-my-god-how-are-we-going-to-survive-her-teenage-years-if-she's-only-four-and-acting-like-this eyes. No words need be spoken during the exchange of this look. We both know exactly what the other is thinking. Sometimes I wonder if he's thinking he could beat me to door because I'm at the point of no return in this pregnancy. (Because sometimes I'm thinking of ways I could trip him if he did indeed try to beat me out of the house).

Anyway. This morning was not one of those mornings. This morning reminded both of us exactly why we unconditionally love this precious being with all of our souls.

We were lying in bed with all the kids just talking before starting our day and Mary Beth was sitting between Jason and I, rubbing his arm affectionately. And she looked over at me and announced simply, "I just love him." And that she does.

I know another someone she "just loves" too ... came across this picture when I was looking through our folders for the cast of characters.

First Draft for Ali. (31w2d)

We shall see where it ends up from here. This part I always enjoy as it morphs into its final design.

Missy should be sending a pic of Carolina tonight so I can get to work on that. I'll post hers when I finish it.

Mass went well today. The homily was awesome and it ties into a post I started about evil existing in this world that I started and said "more to come later". And later's about here because it's becoming more and more clear in my mind that Satan is real and is ready to pounce on the first weakness he spots. I'll need quiet in the house (not the blaring of Night at the Museum like what's happening right now) and a clearer heart.

We had four families sign up for the Summer Family Mission which was great! But now Chelette and I worry that we're going to have way too many people to handle for this little project we started. I suppose the opposite problem would be worse, though, and for that we need to be grateful!

Okay, so I lied. (31w2d)

I just had to get a first draft done of Cate's artwork.

It needs some work and finishing up, but this is the general idea. Five red hearts, one representing each of them, the last with a halo. They'll be printed on note cards and on the back, within the watermark, I'll put something like "in memory of Catherine Francis Cantrell".



This makes me so sad. But so honored to be asked to do this for them.

Six days until the Beach (31w2d)

... and I simply cannot wait! We've been prepping for a couple of weeks now; doing shopping, cooking meals and freezing them, getting beach toys out of the attic, etc. And now that we're leaving this week, it just cannot come any sooner.

I still have a laundry list of things to get done: find Jason some khaki shorts for the picture, cook pot roasts, prepare crawfish fettuccine, make dough for rolls, make cinnabons (yum), get us packed, etc. etc.

Plus we've got our 32-week appointment with Dr. Bourque on Tuesday, complete with bio-physical profile ultrasound for New Baby, Mary Beth's appointment with her cardiologist that afternoon, Papa's birthday dinner at four, a sibling class at Lafayette General for the kids that night, a Theresian team meeting Wednesday morning, a Wisdom Summer Family Mission meeting Wednesday night ... the list could (and does) go on and on. All the while still trucking right along with homeschooling.

*Deep breath*

I think I might try and knock out several lessons today so we can glide through the week with relative ease.

I also can't forget that I've got to complete Missy's birth announcements and some note cards for Ali and Charlie to use as thank you's for Cate. Actually, I think I'll start on that right now since it's custom artwork ...

Ack. Just realized it's 9:15 am and we've got to get to 11:00 am Mass early so I can locate the registration forms for Summer Family Mission and prepare myself for getting on the mic and talking in front of the congregation. Custom artwork will have to wait.

You know you're a Cajun ... (31w0d)

when you absolutely reek of roux and you sit down in a doctor's office, and just as you're noticing the stench oozing from your every fiber, not one, but two (!) people comment on how good you smell.

Gotta love my fellow brown gravy eaters.

This happened this morning as I was waiting in my chiro's waiting room. Jason and I had been cooking chicken stew all morning -- browning the chicken, cooking the onions and garlic down, etc. -- and apparently no amount of perfume I applied in the car would mask the distinct smell of roux. Anywhere else and people would've thought I smelled so bad I hadn't taken a bath in a week. But not in Lafayette, Louisiana, baby. I smelled good enough to make their stomachs growl.

Too tiny of a coffin. (31w0d)

It's just too small. But Baby Cate looked beautiful. And I'm not just saying that (for some reason that seems to be the thing to say about whoever died) ... but really, whoever prepared her did an amazing job. She looked exactly like she was sleeping. So at peace.

Charlie and Ali were trucking along. Ali and I got to speak for a few minutes in a hallway. We happened to run into one another as I was leaving the restroom. She was precious and so honest about what she was feeling.

I'm simply amazed by the two of them.

Tomorrow is the funeral and I'm hoping I can hold it together.

There's not much to say. (30w6d)

Cate's Obituary.

The blog from this morning was simply amazing. It's as if you can literally see God's grace surrounding them.

"Hope Filled" (30w5d)

After arriving home yesterday from New Orleans, I received a phone call with the very sad news that Baby Cate had passed away earlier in the afternoon.

Amazingly, Charlie's blog last night was titled "Hope Filled". And though it didn't have any information about Cate's death, those of us who knew the news already are struck yet again with the unshakable faith he and Ali possess.

I, on the other hand, could hardly bear the thought of their baby dying and didn't even allow myself to think about it much until last night after we'd put the kids to bed. Jason and I lie in bed and he listened to me sob uncontrollably with every ounce of my being. My head knows that each of us is here for a purpose; and my head knows that Catherine Francis Cantrell's purpose has been filled. But my heart cannot grasp that her parents are going to be spending today and tomorrow (her father's 30th birthday) making funeral arrangements for their 7-month-old baby. And explaining to Cate's brother and sister that she won't be coming home with them, but instead going home to her Father. My heart feels reprieve when I think about what awaits this tiny being in the afterlife, but is again saddened when I think about her family having to move on with their lives until it is their time to meet her again.

My brother, Ryan, also lost a friend, Corey Stelly, this week in a car accident. His funeral is today and he leaves behind a wife and a 4-month-old baby.

It's a very sad week indeed.

Mary Beth is doing fine. (30w5d)

The surgery went off without a hitch and she was nearly a picture-perfect patient. It's amazing how utterly different this child is when she's alone. She was easy going, easy-to-please, and the only real tears we dealt with were when we were removing the tape from her face (to hold the probe in place) and from her arm (the IV). In her defense, the tape did take a layer of skin off so it was certainly a justified, albeit ear-piercing, screaming session.

Tulane was magnificent. Their staff was unbelievable ... the pediatrics floor came equipped with a playroom that was filled with more toys than you could imagine (and staffed with the most precious of girls who took a liking to MB), movies, books, you name it. So we never got bored, which was great. Just in case, though, I'd toted along my manicure/pedicure kit and MB and I had a fun time being girls. We snuggled up together in her bed to sleep while Daddy slept on the not-so-comfortable couch. And seeing the other ped's patients, all of which were obviously much more sick than MB (one was suffering from burns from head to toe), along with what Ali and Charlie have been dealing with, definitely put things in perspective and made us realize how incredibly blessed we are.

Keeping that in mind made my wardrobe malfunctions seem absolutely fine, even welcomed. (A bottle of Robitussin opened up inside our bag and stained only my clothes which left me with only my dirty clothes and pajamas to wear. Naturally, I spilled coffee on my already dirty clothes which left them unwearable. And amazingly, I was able to laugh it off while I sported my wife-beaters for the remainder of our stay.)

We arrived back home yesterday afternoon and she's already back to her old self. She says she missed the boys, but I think she really missed having people to boss around. Nonetheless, even the aggravation of the bickering is better than longing for it at all.

Here she is post-surgery eating her much desired lunch. You can see the probe coming out of her nose (and the tape that nearly ripped her face off). Lying next to her is the computer the probe was attached to. We had to move buttons around any time she went from flat to sitting/standing and not eating to eating. And then write down on a log what was going on. In other words, huge pain in the rear.

Heading to Tulane tomorrow (30w1d)

We're heading with Mary Beth to Tulane in the morning to get settled for her procedures that she's scheduled for on Monday. I'm nervous, but trying to keep things in perspective ... what Ali and Charlie are dealing with is serious. This, not so much.

Still, it's general anesthesia nonetheless and it's always hard to watch them wheel one of your children away. Here's to an uneventful trip! (And beignets from Cafe du Monde! Yum.)

Rallying the Troops for Baby Cate (29w6d)

Today's the day for a miracle. And today may be the last chance before other treatment measures have to be taken. Don't know the details on those yet, but one can assume they're not as simple as weaning her tiny heart off of an Echmo machine.

Baby Cate

Happy Birthday to the Love of my Life (29w5d)

It's Jason's 35th Birthday today and I couldn't be happier that he is here on this earth with me. The above picture is when Hayes was six-weeks-old and we happened to capture his first smile on film. (This was taken when digital cameras were still relatively new hence the not so great quality.)

He's hardly aged a bit on the outside, except for a few more gray hairs (which I absolutely adore), but on the inside, I've watched him develop into this absolutely amazing human being. His love for his family is precious to the core and his commitment to being the best person he can be is truly awesome.

I love this man with all of my heart and just can't imagine a life without him.

A pic of he and Sam napping on the couch:

Baby Cate in surgery again. (29w4d)

Sending fervent prayers that Baby Cate's heart picks up where the Echmo leaves off. She's in surgery right now and will be until around noon.

Lord, once again I humbly ask you to watch over Cate Cantrell as she once again enters the operating room. Watching this story unfold and how she's bringing thousands and thousands of strangers together in prayer is a reminder of your power, O Lord. Please hold her in your healing arms and Ali and Charlie as well. Let them feel your presence as you bring them peace in their souls. Amen.

Today we start Homeschooling! (29w3d)

And it's 8 am and the boys are still in bed. Sigh. Not exactly getting off on the foot I wanted to. But we had such a busy weekend, I can't bear to wake them up.

We're starting off slowly anyway ... today we'll cover a lesson in Math, a lesson in Spanish and the first lesson in grammar. Hayes's spelling book isn't in yet from Amazon so we're putting that on the back burner until it gets here anyway. Today's history day, but perhaps we'll do science instead since I do have it here. Ooh, that reminds me that I need to request science reading from the library.

I still need to head to my dad's office to scan all of the workbooks in. Their copy machines can turn everything into pdf documents instead of copies, so it'll be nice to have all of my workbook pages stored on the computer just waiting for me to print them. I've been putting it off because it requires me cutting off the bindings of all the books and I just wasn't totally sure it was something I wanted to do. But I'd like to have them spiral bound anyway and I think Steph will do them for me at her mom's shop. Maybe laminate the front covers too.

Either way, still don't have a name for our school and I need to send the letter off 30 days from today. I'd like to get it in the mail this week so am still holding out hope for inspiration. Have been looking up different saints but nothing going yet.

Baby Cate still holding strong. (29w2d)

They've updated at Baby Cate's blog again. Yesterday was the boring day they were asking for. Thank you, God! Today Cate heads back into surgery at 8 am to possibly come off the Echmo machine. It should be a four-hour procedure. Many prayers will be said during that time.

Ali and Charlie's faith is unbelievable. It seems unshakeable. And something that I admire so very much. Though I suppose when you have as many people praying for you as they do, you are infinitely surrounded by God's grace.

I remember somewhat feeling His grace during the twins stay in the NICU after their birth. Of course we weren't dealing with anything near what the Cantrells are, but it was a trying time for me nonetheless. I didn't know it at the time, but we had people praying for us across the country. Candles were being lit in chapels across the United States. Entire convents were including us in their daily prayers. People I'd never met before were feverently praying for my newborn children.

I can remember so many things about those two weeks, but the one memory that brings me the most peace is that Jason and I were each other's rock. Our relationship was elevated to another level during that time in our lives and we reached a point that thankfully, we've never turned back from since.

It's fitting that I'm reminded of this time today on Father's Day, a day when we honor the fathers in our lives. And while I'm actually sitting at my own father's kitchen island typing this (we slept here last night so to have an entire day to celebrate with him) it should be noted that I have three fathers in the forefront of my mind today. The one who taught me to ride a bike, the one who I share the most intimate details of my life with, and the one who gives me life each and everyday.

Thank you, God, for the many blessings in my life, but especially today for my fathers. Thank you for your constant reminders that you are at my side. Please be with Ali and Charlie today as their baby girl enters the operating room once again. Let them feel your presence and the warmth of your love and comfort. Amen.

Sometimes there are just bigger things than our own worries (29w0d)

Cate Cantrell

This is the baby of one of my friends, Ali Guidry Cantrell. Complications have arisen in her open heart surgery.

Lord, please watch over Cate and be with Ali and Charlie during this difficult time. Let them feel the peace of your love and trust in your will. Be with Cate's surgeons as their skilled hands perform miracles. Keep Cate in your arms and let her make a full recovery. Amen.

29 weeks and feeling wiped out. (29w0d)

Almost too exhausted to type. It's been an interesting few days to say the least.

Still awaiting Mary Beth's MRI results, which I've been distracted about anyway so didn't even realize until after office hours today. No news is good news, I'm sure.

I've always been a firm believer in God but never really thought too much about the flip side. Perhaps Satan exists, perhaps he doesn't, but does it really matter?

Yeah, it does. And I'm pretty sure he exists waiting to prey on you at your most vulnerable. I'm too tired to get into it, but it's a thought that's been surfacing all day.

More later.

Update on Projects (28w6d)

I haven't updated because I haven't been doing any major projects, really. Well, we have, but the before and after pics of hanging a hook in my pantry for my aprons, hanging a mirror, etc. are relatively boring.

Plus the dance review wiped me out last weekend. The kids and napped for 3 and 5 hours on Monday. That's how tired we were.

I figured my real project until I get it done will be MB's dress I'm smocking so DeDe can put it together. I really need to get that done this week. I've been working on it some everyday so it is getting finished, albeit much slower than DeDe would have liked.

Yesterday, my project was MB's MRI at Women's. It went very well and we should know the results sometime today. I looked through the films (they burned a disc for me to take to Tulane) and although I have no idea what I'm looking at, her brain looks nice and pretty to me! I'm certain the results are fine and I'm not at all worried actually.

Today my project starts at 9:15 am. A much anticipated FACIAL with Megan the Wonder Esthetician. I'm finally using up some of my gift certificates from my birthday. The mani/pedi is the Thursday before we leave for Destin. I cannot wait! (For either).

Bins are organized and relabeled. (28w2d)

Mine was actually done yesterday but I'm going to take credit for it today. Today's been a lazy-ish day.

After Mass, we headed home and took naps before round two of dance review tonight.

Yesterday afternoon I re-labeled all of the bins on the shelves in DH and I's closets. No before pics, but the labels before (if there was one on the bin) were handwritten and all wrinkly from getting moved around from bin to bin.

My closet:


Jason's closet:

My closet has a floor! (28w1d)

Quick and easy for me today.

My closet needed a few minutes of attention. I like to keep my clothes sorted by color but get lazy about it when I'm in a rush to put away laundry. Same with shoes getting tossed in the closet and bags and purses not stowed away on the shelves.

The before pics are hard to see because my closet lightbulbs needed changing.

Before:


Bottom:


After:

I met Carolina today! (28w0d)

And she is so adorable, I could have swooped her up!

As soon as I started holding her, though, the baby started kicking the top of my belly where she was resting like CRAZY. Don't know what's up with that, but it was hysterical.

Carolina is beautiful. And I also got to witness Anna Elise seeing her for the second time. And it's such a beautiful and precious gift, that of a sibling. I'm so glad I was there to see it. And to give Kyle a little break so he could head home and shower and get out of the hospital for a moment.

Speaking of the hospital. Oh. My. God. The addition is absolutely GORGEOUS. The post partum rooms are enormous and I'm so excited to be able to use them (and so bummed they weren't ready for Missy).

I'm exhausted. (28w0d)

So I let Jason complete today's project.

The new entryway into the house's door was dog awful. The green on the door is so laughable (it was the color of the exterior of the house before we repainted a couple of years ago but never got around to this door because screw it, it's in the garage). It also has a completely useless glass door in front of it which is coming off after the paint's dry and it's safe to close the door.

Before:


After:

Today's Project(s!) (27w6d)

Today was an insane day. My mom came over to help me and we worked for five hours straight.

I'm exhausted.

We started with the china cabinet. The thing that is important to note is that we have two doors to enter the house through the garage. One goes into the laundry room (which is situated right behind the wall in the picture) and one into the living room (which you can see to the left).

People use the laundry room door because it's closer to the entry of the garage (if they're not using the front door, which no one who knows us well does) and it bugs the shit out of me. I mean, who wants their laundry room to be the first thing people see when they walk into the house?

So the solution is just to quit using that door, of course, but it's never as easy as you think it is. So anyway, the china cabinet got moved from the foyer to the living room right next to the soon-to-be "new" entryway. And I didn't take a before pic because there was nothing to look at. But here's the after, after we stocked it with serving dishes and stuff:


Next we moved onto the laundry room. It was packed full of SHIT.

Mostly empty bottles of cleaning supplies, expired soft drinks, things that didn't belong in the laundry room, etc.

DH had installed some shelves around the deep freezer several months ago to catch the overflow of our appliances and stockpile and they had gotten cluttered over time, which can be seen here:

Back Left:


Back Upper Left:


Back Right:


Part of the issue I was having with the laundry room is that I couldn't find a laundry sorter that could withstand the amount of abuse we were putting on it. They kept breaking. So the floor ended up being the makeshift sorter, and you can imagine how embarrassing that would be if someone popped in unannounced.

So I cleared the bottom floor and the next shelf (sort of) to make room for three laundry baskets for the sorting:


And made room for more appliances (thus making more room in the kitchen cabinets for other stuff) by moving the cleaning supplies to the cabinets above the washer and dryer:


And the right side. Note how the mis-matched (XL top and XXXL bottoms - WTF?) mens pajamas that I gave to DH two Christmasses ago and never returned to Old Navy are now gone!:


And the cabinets above the washer and dryer:

Left side before:


Left side after:


Right side before:


Right side after (btw, Clorox Cleanup is so amazing at getting tough stains out. Better than the bleach pen, even):


We moved to the kitchen next. And I won't bore you with all the pictures, just the highlights.

The bill cabinet. The f'ing bill cabinet. The bane of my existence. It's really DH's job, but he's not exactly the most organized of individuals (like I am or something ROFL).

Before. If you could see the amount of medication I pulled out of this cabinet, you'd laugh your ass off. It's like cough medicine was reproducing in the cabinet:


After. We moved the coffee stuff from the dishes cabinet over here (no pics) because it was just too crowded. Plus the drink stuff from another cabinet:


The cabinet to the right is our plastic cup cabinet. It was literally overflowing and I unfortunately don't have a before pic. Don't know how I missed that one ... but anyway, here's the after:


Spice cabinet before:


Found some little shelves on clearance at BB&B today for $3 each which ended up working out well for helping to divide the spices up:


The pantry. Zeeee pantry. Out of control.

Some befores:








Aaaand afters:




So that's pretty much it. The rest of the pics are even more boring to look at. But wow this feels so nice. And so exhausting.

I wish I could have a martini.

Another beautiful soul joins us! (27w6d)

My dear friend, Missy, had her baby this morning and it's another GIRL! Carolina Claire, 7 lbs. 11 oz. Shelley says Kyle sounds ecstatic to be welcoming their second baby girl into the world. And I couldn't be more pleased that Anna Elise has a sister to share her life with! Hopefully we'll be able to provide the same for Mary Beth one day.

Projects, Projects and more Projects (27w5d)

Someone at a parenting message board I'm a member of suggested doing a project a day for the month of June. Since we'd been re-organizing because of homeschooling, I figured I might as well jump on board. And I'm so very glad that I have.

The first day was insane. My project was to be the boys' closet. It turned into much more than that -- the boys' closet, their dresser, breaking up their bunks, our dresser, my nightstand (and I might be forgetting something) but here are some of the before and after pictures:

Boys' Room Before:


Boys' Room After:


Boys' Dresser Before:


Boys' Dresser After:





The next day I tackled my computer desk. It was horrid.

Before:


After:



Yesterday was Mary Beth's costume for the review. Debbie came over and we worked on her three girls' costumes as well (I even successfully added darts to a pair of Lilly's pants on the first try!).

No before pic since that's boring. But the princess is precious, so an after:



Today was cleaning up the playroom, which had been clean, but then wasn't after we cleaned out the China cabinet (before this project a day started).

Before:






And afters:




And just because I really, really love how the room came out: