Hey, kids, what's Santa going to bring you?

Decisions, Decisions.

This past Thursday turned out to be a day for the books. It was plain awful. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

It started out innocuous enough. Jason let me sleep in as he was leaving to return to Houston around 10:30 am. I wake up around 9:30 to a house that looked slightly worse than it did when I went to bed at midnight. I'd stayed up late doing the majority of my last order of Christmas cards. The only thing I had left was to fold them (and deliver between 4:00 and 5:00 pm).

Jason goes off and I try to get the house in reasonable order but with a cranky baby and three other kids vying for my attention, this sounds easier in theory than in practice. (Sometime mid-afternoon, Mary Beth came up with a "hurt eye". Now I use quotes here because she's had no fewer than three hysterical illnesses since Jason's left, one of which was so convincing I'd called a babysitter for the boys and trotted off to the pediatrician.) But nonetheless, I usually really try to keep the house as close to neat as possible in case we get a call for a showing. But when 2:00 pm rolled around and the centralized showing office hadn't called, I figured we were in the clear. I'd finish all the housework that night after the kids went to bed and be ready for a potential showing tomorrow.

I get to work on folding the Christmas cards and realize halfway through the stack that I must have reloaded the printer wrong when printing the inside of the cards because the words were on the top half and upside down. (Insert expletive here). I hate when I make simple mistakes like this. It's absolutely infuriating because it usually results from me attempting to multi-task instead of focusing on what's right in front of me. And that had totally happened here. (I'd been facebooking while printing the inside of the cards and absentmindedly put them in backward.) (Insert additional, more detailed expletive).

I suck it up and get the cards reprinted, rescored, recut, reprinted and refolded and in the middle of all of this I manage to get dinner on the stove (taco soup) and cornbread in the oven. It's my turn to cook for Missy and Chelette and it works out perfectly because the Christmas cards are being delivered to that side of town. As long as no icky kid comes near the cards (they know never to touch Mommy's paper), I'm in the clear.

It's 3:55 pm by this point and I'm nursing Eleanor. The phone rings. Centralized showing office. (Oh yes, I'll definitely be cleaning the house tonight.) But wait. A realtor would like to show the house at 4:15! I glance up at the clock and realize that's 20 minutes from now and there's no WAY that's going to happen. The cornbread alone still has 20 minutes to bake. I do a quick mental calculation of what needs to be done in order to get the house in showing condition (it's quite different from say unexpected company because you can't just throw all your crap in closets. They'll be looking in your closets!) and request that they hold off until 4:45. It's a deal.

HOLY CRAP.

I won't go into all the details of what needed to be done around the house, but luckily it was just putting things away and not majors like mopping. I can tell you that it takes 35 minutes of running around like a crazy woman and enough sweat to soak your underpants to get a moderately messy house in showing condition.

At 4:35, the kids and I and the taco soup, cornbread and Christmas cards hit the road for our deliveries. Just enough to do to keep us away from the exit time of the potential buyers (5:45). Naturally, on the way, some ass pulled out in front of me and I slammed on my brakes to avoid hitting him, but in doing so cause the pot to SPILL TACO SOUP. And if that wasn't enough, after we'd dropped off the cards, I glanced in my rear view at the twins and noticed that Mary Beth's "hurt eye" was now swelling so fast I could actually see it swelling shut.

HOLY CRAP.

I get to Missy's and call my friend Shelley, whose husband is a doctor at an Urgent Care in town. He's working. Great. We'll do that instead of sitting in the ER all night.

Go to Chelette's, drop off the remaining soup, cornbread and the boys (thank God for Chelette for keeping them) and head out with the girls to the UC facility. It ended up taking me longer to get there because of traffic than it did to see Boo and get a diagnosis (conjunctivitis with an infection in her eyelids). But perhaps the longest part of the evening was waiting an hour for the $60 of prescriptions at CVS.

When I finally got home and got the kids in bed, I sat down and wept. It was all I could do.

So the decision ahead of us that certainly factors in the day that will forever be known as the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" is that Ruth's has offered to pay for a rental (or our mortgage, whichever is less) until our house sells. So while I swear I heard angels singing when Jason told me that, it also brings with it some serious deliberation and prayer.

Do we move temporarily into a furnished apartment, leave all our stuff here (except for non necessities like clothes) so we can all be together? Do we have Hayes switch schools and then switch again when we buy? Do we just homeschool him instead until we move? Do we just suck it up and live apart for the remainder of the time? Will TESI ever fix this **&%(*& lift station noise so we can sell this house?

What to do. What to do. Expect more blahging about this to come ...

The wait is so difficult.

We had a showing this morning at 11:30. It was the second time the buyers were coming this week. And I haven't heard yet from Ms. Penny and I'm dying over here!

What a gentle reminder, or maybe not so gentle, of what Advent means for us ... a time of anticipation and patient waiting. And while I would love oh so much for us to have a contract TODAY (this 3rd Sunday of Advent), it serves as a good lesson in my own Advent.

(The lift station is getting fixed ... Tim from LDC assured me it would be remedied promptly. I'm waiting with anticipation. I swear if we lose another buyer from that damn noise, I'm going to LOSE MY MIND.)

The Perkins kids disco like crazy ...

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Novena to sell our house. Day 9.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 9 Bless all families, O Lord especially those in need. Remembering the life of your Son, we pray for the poor, for those who lack a good home, for those in exile. Grant them a protector like Joseph, O God.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed are the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be. World without end. Amen.

As we end this novena, our house goes live on the market today!

Novena to sell our house. Day 8.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 8 Give shelter, O God, to those who need it, and bring together families divided. Give us enough to eat, and decent work to earn our bread. Care for us, O God.

And so today, on what should be the 9th day of this novena (I messed up!), we decided to list the house with a realtor. Unfortunately, our trusty realtor, Sue Franklin, is out of town until next week. So we called for backup ... and God bless Ms. Penny ... she is ADORABLE.

When she answered the phone, I told her who I was (she knows Michael as he's friends with her son, Ben) and she said, "Oh, I love Michael!" And when I told her that Aunt Kat told me to call her she said, "Oh, I love Kat Heinen!" And when I told her that we were moving to Houston and needed to sell our house she said, "I can sell your house". She sounded just like an angel and one that I desperately need.

So thank you, St. Joe, for sending us Penny!

Novena to sell our house. Day 7.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 7 God, our Father, give your fatherly spirit to those who are fathers now. Like Joseph, give them hearts of devoted love for their wives and children and strength for forgiveness and patience.

Novena to sell our house. Day 6.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 6 God of our heavenly home, bless our home on earth. Let the spirit of Mary and Joseph rest at our table, shape our words and actions, and bring blessing to our children.

Novena to sell our house. Day 5.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 5 O God, who loves children, be kind to our children today. Give them eyes of faith for seeing far, a loving heart for welcoming life, and a place always at your side.

The kids will be in Ragin Cajun ads!

We got asked to participate in an ad campaign for UL. Wetaped the commercial a couple of weeks ago though it won't air until next year. Still pics were taken as well. The kids were dolled up in UL garb and the boys had their faces painted. Mary Beth got to sport a temporary tattoo on her face that she's still talking about today. It was so much fun and I'm sorry that we won't be here to see the finished product! Dad will be so very proud, tho.

Here's Hayes during the face painting process:

And the twins posing for me before the shoot began:

Novena to sell our house. Day 4.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 4 God of families, bless the family that's mine. Keep us safe from harm, and never let evil come between us. Let peace remain in our hearts.

Everyone gets smiles from you, Eleanor.

Including the baby on the wipes container ...

It was absolutely hysterical and oh-so-precious. I'd swaddled you and left you on my bed so I could finish up dinner for the kids. And when I came back, you were all smiles for this baby.


I couldn't help but be reminded of the twins and thought about how lucky they were to always have each other. No smiling at pictures of babies required; they each had their own real life baby!

Novena to sell our house. Day 3.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 3 O God, ever faithful, you remember us always and in time reveal your blessings. Help me trust in you, as St. Joseph faithfully trusted, and never let me lose faith in the wonderful gifts you promise me.

Novena to sell our house. Day 2.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.

St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine to sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.

Day 2 O God, you love your people and bless the ordinary lives we quietly live. As you blessed St. Joseph, bless what I do, however hidden and simple it may be, and let all I do be done with love.

To Jason, on our 7th Wedding Anniversary

It is said that every cell in our bodies change over a seven year period. So I suppose it can also be said that we start a new chapter in our life every seven years as well. And today marks seven wonderful years that I've been married to the man of my dreams. And we are, thus, embarking on a new chapter in our marriage as we prepare for our move to Houston.

We've seen high points as well as low points over the course of our marriage, though luckily enough most of them have been highs. I could go on for hours on why I think most of our moments have been well above the line of average, but the bottom line is that we are committed to our marriage. Each November 16th marks a renewal of those vows, but truth be told, we recommit ourselves each morning when we awake.

It goes unspoken most of the time, but we both know in our souls that we are in this for life. And we can see it in each others' eyes ... no need for words, really. Our children see it, too. Jason and I laugh together, we cry together and the kids get to be a part of it each and every day.

So here's to you, babe! I adore every fiber of your being and thank God for the blessing you are in my life. I will miss you terribly when you leave next Sunday ... but I am happy to have you here today (even if you are at work!).

I love you wholly,

Meg

P.S. This is how I found you and Miss E when I got out of the shower this morning. My heart nearly exploded with love. You two were too cute.

Novena to sell our house. Day 1.

Come to my aid, O God. O Lord, make haste to help me.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all good gifts, I come before you to honor you in your saints and ask their help in my many needs.

You promised those who ask, would receive, those who seek, would find, those who knock, would have doors opened to them.

Hear the prayers of your church, grant my requests, and pardon my sins. Amen.
St. Joseph, just and true, with a father's care you raised the child Jesus, and with a husband's love, you shared your life with Mary, his mother.

I entrust myself to your care and place in your hands this request of mine that we sell our house quickly and without problems.

In quiet Nazareth, long ago, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart and you followed God's will with wonderful faith.

In the quiet of my days, and in the hard choices I must make, help me follow the Spirit's guidance and believe when I cannot see.


Day 1 Oh God, guide of those who listen and helper of those who hear your voice, speak to me, as you did to St. Joseph, and help me accomplish the things you give me to do.

So today I scrub my floors on my hands and knees.

My beautiful Mary Elizabeth,

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love how strong willed you are because I know that I'll never have to worry about you when you're older. You'll never be anyone's doormat and you'll never settle for a man who isn't worthy of your love.

But I'll be damned if your strong willed-ness doesn't drive Daddy and I absolutely nuts at times. Our day started off well enough. We'd headed to Pots and Mammie's last night after playing all afternoon at Mumsy's on the fun jump. We arrived just in time to start trick-or-treating and you looked absolutely adorable in your "fairy" outfit.

You were given the green light to eat as much candy as your little sweet-toothed self desired and after several hours of sugar high, you finally crashed around 10:00 pm. We woke up around 7:30 am and got busy with getting the boys ready for their soccer games. Once we sent the boys off with Daddy, you and I and Eleanor got ready and I headed to Mimi's to drop you with her. We thought you might enjoy the Homecoming parade more than the boys' soccer games.

And that you did. Mimi said you had a ball ... you caught toys and candy and everyone thought you looked just adorable in your UL cheerleader uniform.

I met up with you at Dude's tailgating spot and you'd just started to throw your first of many temper tantrums of the day. It seemed you weren't at all interested in eating anything of substance and you just weren't going to have Mimi (or anyone else) insist that you put something other than candy into your mouth.

This battle went on for nearly an hour and you shed many a tear and embarrassed us thoroughly with your antics. Screaming, crying, general crabbiness.

My biggest misstep of the day was threatening to take you home and not following through with it. Because God knows, we should have left hours before we actually did.

You eventually ate some boudin and Daddy and I were satisfied enough that you'd put something resembling actual nutrition into your stomach. Apparently we should have insisted instead on something higher in protein because you crashed about two hours later with one of the biggest breakdowns I've ever seen a child exhibit in public. Over a pom pom. A red and white stupid fifty cent pom pom.

You see, you had two of them and you absolutely wouldn't share with Sam. When Mammie had had enough of your attitude, she handed you down the two rows to where Daddy, Eleanor and I were sitting watching the Cajuns. And you just wouldn't stop crying. After we'd gotten embarrassed enough, as you were disturbing everyone within a 20-yard radius, Daddy picked you up to take you upstairs to calm you down.

As Daddy carried you up the stadium stairs, you proceeded to scream at the top of your lungs and kick your legs so hard that you actually hurt him. The people sitting around us thought this behavior (they had no idea Daddy was hurt) was somewhat entertaining and I laughed it off as they gave me sympathetic glances. I suppose you're not the first child to ever throw a fit of epic proportions in public, but nonetheless, it was completely and utterly horrifying to watch you behave this way.

(Daddy later confessed that he was worried the police were going to come and think he was kidnapping you by the way you were screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at the top of your lungs.)

So here I sit. At my computer. During the third quarter of perhaps one of the most exciting Cajun football games I've ever (not) attended. And pondering how on earth we're going to survive you.

Lucky for us, at some point, you'll be some other poor soul's problem to reign in. And I suspect we've got quite a bit of grooming to do over the next, say, 18 years. Hopefully I'll maintain my sanity long enough to actually do you some good.

But in the meantime, I'm going to remind myself that your hard-headedness really does have its upsides. And for that, I'm grateful.

Love,
Mommy

I've been trying my best to stay away from politics this season.

It does nothing but raise my blood pressure (which truly isn't something I can afford at the moment even though I'm only partially joking about the political effect). I was way too attached in the last election and I swore I wasn't going to do it again. And I haven't. But it's getting impossible to ignore as the election on Tuesday draws near.

I truly believe that whatever happens on November 4th, it's all part of God's plan. So there is comfort in that even if Obama wins, it's not the end of the world. We've survived presidencies in the past. And this one wouldn't be any different.

One thing has been bothering me lately, though, and it's how this man has been raised up on such a high pedestal, you'd swear he was the second coming of Christ. He's even been likened to the Messiah in certain circles, so it's been somewhat troubling to me that his supporters (who I may disagree with on policy but whom I don't hold in contempt for the mere fact that they're Democrats) can't see this man for what he really is: a politician. He's a well manicured machine that's been years in the making. He's no different than the rest of them, including McCain, despite what promises he's making.

I suppose on one hand it's uplifting to see the eternal pessimists we've seen over the past eight years so inspired. But it's just as troubling, perhaps more, that these relatively intelligent people either can't see, or are just refusing to see, Barack Obama for what he really is.

That being said, my family's hopeful as the polls begin to tighten up. I think there are many voters like me out there who have been watching this political season from the sidelines waiting to simply cast their ballot for the "uncool" choice. We'll see soon enough ... this year it's more about turnout than ever before. Is it possible that the quiet crowd will pull out another win?

My dearest Eleanor, (9w0d)

I am absolutely, positively, 100% in love with you. I'm unsure if a more adorable baby has ever existed and if I could freeze time, I'd keep you in this moment forever.

I love the way I know how to hold you best. You settle into my arms nearly immediately and my heart physically oozes love each time you fall asleep in my arms. I love the way you look at me when our eyes meet. It's as if you've never seen something more amusing. I love the way your whole body tightens up when you need to burp ... and how it immediately relaxes as soon as we've gotten it up. I love the way your eyes roll back in your head when you're falling asleep. And how when I'm swaying you to sleep you fall off into dreamland quicker if you're gripping my finger. And how you love to dance with me.

You are one of the five biggest blessings in my life and I'm a better mom for having you. Thank you for choosing us as your family. I thank God every day for the gift that you are.

You're an unbelievably simple child. You have simple wants and it makes loving you just as simple. You are grounding us during this transition and I will remember that of you always: what a blessing you were while we were preparing for the move to Houston ... a constant reminder to stay in the present and not allow ourselves to go crazy with the "what ifs" (even though I sometimes do get frazzled).

We love you deeply, "Pootie",

Mommy

P.S. I hope for your sake this nickname doesn't stick; but we're having too much fun with it at the moment. "Pootie Pootie Pumpkin Patch" and "Pootie Pootie Polka Dot" are our current favorites.

He's at school and I miss him.

I know, it's crazy. But I do.

I'm 99% certain we're doing the right thing. The other 1% of me wants to get in my car right now and pluck him from his classroom and bring him back home.

He was so excited last night and this morning. It was too cute.

He got overwhelmed in the front office when they were giving me the paperwork to fill out. And cried a little while we were sitting in the cafeteria while I was filling out said paperwork. He was scared, he said. I assured him that everything was fine and that I wasn't going to leave him until he was okay. He wanted to come home with me for today but I knew once we got into his classroom he'd be fine. And he was.

His teacher seems sweet despite her name: Mrs. Nails. Hmmm.

I'm worried about him and can't wait to see him when I pick him up to get the full report on his day. 3:00 can't come soon enough.

ETA: He's fine! He survived and even loved it. And best of all, he caught on quickly to subtraction (and I mean, full on subtraction problems) and we'd just started learning about it. Whew.

Exhausted and Overwhelmed.

Or how exhausted and overwhelmed are not a good combination.

Jason leaves for Houston in three weeks. And it hit us today that we're just not going with him. We knew it was a possibility but I guess I couldn't let my head even go there until necessary. And it became necessary today.

He ordered me down for a nap around 2:30 and even though I was emotionally and physically spent (I'd spent the majority of the morning crying over the overwhelmed-ness that is my life at the moment), I couldn't sleep. Too much traveling through my brain to even begin the shutdown process.

Unfortunately, it's been like this at night as well and if I'm kept up for too long at one of Eleanor's mid-night feedings, my mind starts processing again and I have a hard time falling asleep. I had one of those nights last night. And it's nights like that that can make me irrationally angry with Jason for possessing the ability to just shut his brain off and nod off to sleep at a moment's notice. I always feel a pang of envy regarding this ability of his, but it downright pisses me off when I'm on the three-hour time clock of a newborn. Because sleeping for less than three hours at a time is tough enough. Add in an extra long feeding or a fussy baby who's not quite ready to head back to dreamland and every minute starts to become precious.

It's a frustrating cycle and one I'm not coping well with at the moment. Under normal circumstances, I'd be able to fall back asleep in a reasonable amount of time. Or take a nap in the afternoon for God's sake. But not now. There's too much to think about. It might go like this ...

Who's going to buy this house? Are we overpriced? (We lowered the price by 10K today) Should we hire a realtor? (If we do this, we might not have quite enough to put 20% down on the new house, thus suffering from PMI.) Are we crazy for moving to Katy? (Where the property taxes are 3+% as opposed to 2+% but the schools are better and we have family already living there) How am I going to keep up with the house when Jason's gone? (It's tough enough keeping it immaculate for a potential showing when we're both here) Crap, what about homeschooling? We're caught up with this school year, but how am I going to do this and sell a house and nurse a newborn and cook dinner and and and ...

So it hit me. Hayes has to get back into school. He's going to be doing it anyway in Katy (or wherever we land); we've already decided as much. And right now, I'm not doing him any justice. We're rushing through math and spelling just so I can mentally cross it off my list. And frankly, the idea of having one less kid in the house for a few hours a day, thus alleviating enough mess to make it worth it, is too appealing. It's a selfish reason, I suppose. But one that's valid enough in my book. (And Jason's too.) So Hayes and I set off this afternoon in search of a couple of uniforms to get him through ... and we report tomorrow morning at 7:45 am sharp to get him ready for his first day at Broadmoor. (We toyed with the idea of calling Fatima to see if there was a spot, but felt it would be too traumatic for him to leave it again.)

Sigh. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. One less stress factor at the moment. Of course it comes with its own additional stresses, but they're stresses (homework, etc) we'll be facing once we move anyway. And the only reason we're starting so soon is because we felt like he needed one transition at a time. Jason moving and him starting in the same week would have been way too much. This, at least, we'll have some time to adjust to before we make another adjustment.

Next step is getting the twins back into Grace for Mother's Day Out ...

Eleanor found her voice today. (8w3d)

It's so cute. She's been working her tongue lately and we could tell that she was on the brink of "talking", especially when she started cooing.

But this morning she was in her bouncer while Jason and I were making taco soup and she started the "ahhhh-eeee" sounds ... almost squealing.

She's generous with her smiles, too. Especially with me.

I can't believe we ever thought we didn't want any more children. What a doll this child is. And so easy! If we were guaranteed more like her, I'd have a dozen.

Oh, and we found a house. (8w0d)

The trip to Houston was a success and we've found the house we're planning to purchase. Now we just need a purchaser for this house. And preferably one who doesn't call and ask if we're offering 100% financing. (No, sir, we're selling the house, not offering mortgages.)

Mommy? Do you like the name Madeline? (8w0d)

Mary Beth asks me with all sincerity.

Sure, baby, Madeline is a pretty name.

And with a look of serious seriousness and the most precious emphasis on the word think, she says, "I think we should change my name to Madeline."

I burst into hysterical laughter and have told just about everyone I can think of the story.

A pic of the kids just because:

The house is officially for sale!

The ad in the paper starts on Sunday and we've already got a sign in the yard. Flyers are being taken from the info tube we've got next to the "for sale by owner" sign. Hopefully it'll sell quickly.

My Theresian sisters came and helped us get the house ready. Here are the pictures:

Front of the house:


Breakfast Nook in Kitchen:


Kitchen:


Livingroom:




Formal Dining (Playroom):



Master Bedroom:



Master Bathroom:


Bedroom #2:


Bedroom #3:


Secondary Bathroom:


Covered Patio:



Picket Fence with Arbor:

Good news abounds! (6w)

Today marks Eleanor's 6-week mark. It also marks two years to the day that Jason has been employed with Ruth's Chris.

And lastly, it marks the day that we made the decision to move our little family to Houston, Texas.

Jason was offered a promotion with Ruth's as General Manager of their Houston store and after much prayer and discernment (this has been in the works, though we weren't certain it was going to happen until today, for three weeks) this Cajun, small-town family is officially moving to a big city.

I'm still in shock. And probably will be for some time. Stay tuned as the move unfolds ...


The other good news is that Uncle Harry's lymphatic system is a-okay. His PET scan revealed that there is no cancer in any organs or additional lymph nodes. He had a bone marrow biopsy performed today, and depending on the results of that, he may or may not have to do radiation. But there's NO CHEMO to be done at all. Thank you God for answered prayers!

Happy Birthday to Uncle H.

It's his birthday today and right this minute he's in a PET scan so they can figure out exactly where the cancer is and what stage it's in.

God, please be with Uncle Harry today as we celebrate 51 wonderful years of his life. Let us always remember to appreciate our lives and those we hold dear to our hearts. Amen.

It's Stage II Grade II Follicular Lymphoma

Treatable, but not curable. It'll go into remission, but he'll live with cancer for the rest of his life.

It's not the best news possible, but certainly not the worst.

He goes in for a PET scan and a CAT scan later this week. Meets with the oncologist next week. We'll know more then, I suppose.

"4 week" check-up (4w6d)

She's absolutely perfect.

Has a touch of infant acne paired with a bit of heat rash.

10 pounds, 10 ounces.
22 inches. (birth length of 18.5 was totally wrong, ped confirmed this today)

Talked about delaying/eliminating vaccines.

Will stay on the Axid for her reflux until she's two months and then we'll run a trial of no meds.

Go back on November 5th for our two month check-up and first rounds of vaccinations. (Hib and Prevnar for meningitis; DTaP given a month later; skipping Polio for now; skipping Hep B and Rotavirus altogether).

I adore my pediatrician.

My godfather has cancer.

We just found out this morning.

He went in to have a lymph node removed which they'd biopsied the day after Eleanor was born. The biopsy came back negative, but they still wanted to remove it because it was obviously infected. Said there was an 85% chance the node was benign.

He fell into that 15% and I'm so very sad for him.

It's lymphoma, or so they think, which is the best sort of cancer to have.

They're staging it and then we'll know the course of action.

But damn. Cancer sucks.

Her baptism was perfect! (Well, almost) (4w3d)

The October baptism date was full, so we'd requested that either Father Chester or Father Clement perform a private baptism for us so that we wouldn't have to wait until November. Thankfully, Father Clement obliged and we were scheduled for yesterday afternoon after 4:00 Mass. It was additionally special as yesterday was also Mom's 55th birthday.

It was a precious ceremony despite the fact that Miss E was not very happy. She was extremely tired, seeing that she hardly slept the night before (and also woke up with a terrible case of baby acne).

Father Clement was just too cute. Eleanor was his seventh baptism and we could tell that he was honored to perform this sacrament for us. Not only did he pray for her during Mass, but when we were receiving communion, he gasped and said, "There she is!" when I approached him. Way too cute.

Here's Jennifer (godmother) me and Eleanor:


Jen, me and Paul (godfather) as Eleanor is anointed:


Eleanor is Baptized:


We had a party here at the house afterward and it was so much fun. I love getting together with family. The food was delicious (thank you, Mumsy!) and the celebration was full of love. Sandra Rogers made the cake and it was delicious as well as beautiful.



A perfect day after all.

Birth Announcements (4w1d)

As I'm sitting here procrastinating (I'm supposed to be cleaning the floors for tomorrow's party following Eleanor's baptism), I thought I'd post the first draft of Miss E's birth announcements.

I'm not sure if those are the pics I'll use ... or even if it's the design.

But it's a first draft nonetheless.

Perhaps we'll get some good shots tomorrow in her gorgeous gown.

I'd like to include some of the kids and her as well. But that's not an easy task.

Better Late than Never: the Birth Story.

It's Wednesday, August 27th. Two days before my due date.

Jason's off from work and I've been feeling a little off all day long. Nothing to necessarily call home about, but just had this strange feeling. So I called my mom to see if her and Papa would take the kids for the night and they agreed. Wouldn't you know that as we were getting the kids ready, my contractions started picking up in intensity and frequency?

At Jason's urging, I paged Dr. Bourque just to touch base with him as it was 6:30 pm already. So I did and he asked me to stop by the hospital because he was already there so he could "check me and just see where we were". We arrived at the hospital around 8:00 pm after getting the kids settled at mom's. At around 10 pm, the contractions were four minutes apart but I was only 1-2 cm.

I wanted to go home. Dr. Bourque wanted me to stay. I asked if I could head out if the contractions petered out. He laughed and told me that the contractions weren't going to stop ... I was in labor. What I was in was total disbelief. And thank God we did not leave. Because about 20 minutes later, I was in agony. This wasn't the regular early labor I'd read about in the countless books I'd poured through in preparation of our natural birth. No. These were over-the-top-want-to-escape-my-own-skin-two-minutes-apart-lasting-90-seconds-can-hardly-catch-my-breath contractions. If I'd had a clear head about myself, I'd have thought to get checked so I could know I was in transition. But the only thing I could think about was getting this to stop. And it had to stop five minutes ago.

So in between running back and forth from the toilet to the bathtub to the bed (all of this without any clothes on), I was yelling at Jason that I wanted, no needed, the epidural. The sweetheart that he is, totally followed what we'd practiced and came back with, "Baby, we talked about this and we really want a natural delivery."

You know that scene in Look Who's Talking where Kirstie Alley's in labor and John Travolta is telling her to breathe and she gets that look in her eyes, opens her mouth to yell at him and what comes out is Satan's voice saying, "FUCK MY BREATHING"? Yeah, that's what it was like. So it dawned on me ... the code word! We'd decided on a code word for me to use in case I was really serious about wanting pain relief.

But I was so outside of myself that I couldn't even remember the word and all I could get out was, "Code. Word. The. Fucking. Code. Word. Can't. Remember. It. But. I'm. Using. It."

And about ten minutes later, I'm squirming uncontrollably trying to hold still for the anesthesiologist, which I was hardly able to manage. And about ten minutes after that, I'm starting to feel some relief, Dr. Bourque comes in to check me and I'm 5 cm.

No wonder I was out of control. I was dilating like mad.

So it's 11:30 pm now and I'm thinking that this is really going to happen. So is everyone else. Dr. Bourque tells me he's not leaving, but he's going to sleep in the on-call room and he'll be back later. (Bless his heart).

At some point in the middle of the night, the epidural started to wear off and those crazy contractions were back. I was clinging to the bed rails yelling, "no no no no no" over and over and so the nurse anesthetist came in to re-dose me. Relief again.

Checked. I'm 6 cm.

Epidural starts to wear off again. Re-dosed again.

Checked. I'm 5 cm and my cervix is swelling. Shit.

About an hour later, I'm 7 cm.

An hour later, I'm still 7 cm and the baby is starting to have heart decels. And the epidural's wearing off again. This is not good.

They tell me the baby's not in distress. I tell them that he/she may not be, but I am.

I'm done. And it's very clear to me that it's time for the repeat section.

So Dr. Bourque is paged and they're prepping me for surgery. I'm sad because I've spent months preparing for something that's obviously not going to happen. But I'm also going into this knowing without a doubt that this baby is ready to be born. And that brings me some much needed comfort. Another measure of comfort is that Dr. Bourque's agreed to not announce the gender of the baby, but to walk around the surgery drape to show us instead. (What a doll).

Here's where the story starts to go downhill. They can't get me numb enough with the epidural. They're dosing me with enough to tranquilize a horse and are reaching the limit on what they can give me. They explain that if I don't numb up, they've got to put me under and that means Jason can't be in the OR. Crap.

So with every fiber of my being, I silently pray and beg God to help me get numb. My prayers are answered and we head into surgery. Mom arrives just in time to attend and I'm quietly crying and simultaneously praying the Memorare over and over that I deliver without complication.

The section begins and immediately I can tell that something's not right. It's taking what seems like forever for her to be born so I ask Dr. Bourque if everything's okay. He assures me that it is but explains that there is a lot of scar tissue and he's taking his time working through it. After more time passes, and I notice that he's noticeably more silent than he's been in my previous two sections, I mention to him (and I mean this with all my being as I'm saying it) that I'm so glad that he's my surgeon. And he replies with, "So am I because this isn't work for an ameteur." Yikes.

A few minutes later, the baby is born, and we hear that beautiful cry. And then we see this:

And we are beside ourselves! Another girl! A beautiful baby girl! Jason can't believe it. Neither can Mom. They really, really thought we were having another boy. And they were so sure of it, I was almost convinced of it as well. But I was over the moon when I saw girl parts!

They get her cleaned up and bring her over to meet me. But I get to watch Jason meet her first and it's a moment that I'll never forget. The look on his face was absolutely precious. One of those father-daughter moments that is a miracle to even get to witness.

Shortly thereafter, Mom and Jason (and our new baby girl) head to the recovery room to wait on me, which they assure us will only take a few minutes. Yeah, those few minutes turned into about an hour.

After Dr. Bourque had finished sewing my uterus, he pulled out the bladder retractor to put everything back in place before sewing me up and I hear him say, "Oh no." Oh no, indeed. My bladder had torn about three inches and had to be repaired immediately. Thankfully, it was only my bladder and it wasn't anything like my uterus needed to be taken out, but I gathered from the reactions of everyone in the OR that this was pretty serious.

Nonetheless, they got me repaired and into recovery and the only thing I knew was that I wanted to nurse my baby (GIRL!). When they wheeled me in, she was rooting around and Mom and Jason said she'd been doing that the entire time. This girl was ready to nurse and we were about to learn that she was a professional at it ... get out of her way.

You can see her rooting on Mom's hand here:

And us nursing for the first time:

Later that afternoon, Mom and Papa brought the kids back to meet her and we had a birthday party complete with cupcakes that Dad picked up for us. So we sang "Happy Birthday" to the new baby (still unnamed at this point and would be until Sunday) and welcomed her properly to the family.

Here's Sam kissing her for the first time, which was something he'd been waiting and waiting to do:

The kids left and Jason and I settled into the realization that we'd be in the hospital for an extended stay because of the bladder repair ... which included an additional surgery the following morning and a catheter for what would be the next week. (Not to mention a hurricane on the way!) So we hunkered in and made the most of the next several days. Spending some good one-on-one time with our new daughter before heading home to the madness.

At some point over the next couple of days, I started running fever and my blood pressure started going way up. I was in bad shape. But the baby, now named Eleanor, was perfectly fine. Nursing like a champ (and even gaining herself quite the reputation amongst the staff) and even bringing my milk in by Saturday afternoon, a mere 48-hours after her birth! She was past her birth weight by day five, which was amazing to all of us, but especially precious Miss Evelyn, the lactation consultant. She was so impressed!

By day 7, I was ready to head home. I was still running fever in the late afternoons but it was time to get on with our new life. So thankfully, I was de-catheterized and sent on my merry way.

It was a long week. And I'm heading back to Dr. Bourque's tomorrow for another checkup (my second since leaving the hospital). I'll hopefully be taken off the blood pressure medication and have the many questions I have for him answered ...

I've forgotten how utterly exhausting this stage is. (3w4d)

But at least she seems to have ditched the middle of the night parties. (Thank the sweet Lord.) Here's how she looked after one of those all-nighters. She looked like I felt:

She did, however, tease us two nights in a row. One with two four-hour stretches and one with a five-hour, which felt like heaven. Two nights ago was every two hours, though she didn't really seem all that interested in eating. She'd nurse for a few minutes and then doze back off. Last night was every three hours, but with full feedings. I'm completely content nursing her around the clock as I'm already *ahem* below my pre-pregnancy weight (everything hasn't gone back into its proper place yet, but still ...). I do, however, prefer the three-hour cycles as opposed to the two-hour ones.

She went back to sleep a little while ago for her first nap of the day. So I decided to forgo my shower until after the next feeding so that we could get some homeschooling in. (Our first since August 18th!) Hayes flew through the math as usual and it dawned on me that I probably should have skipped over the first 20 lessons of math but I was worried that he'd miss out on some sort of foundational learning. I would be wrong. He could totally zoom through the next assessment (at lesson 30) but I looked through the worksheets and Saxon's introducing addition problems before then so I'll have to peek through and see which ones are really necessary.

I'm glad to have gotten some schooling done as it makes me feel productive. But skipping out on my shower means that grocery shopping is going to have to wait until later in the day. Plus we have dancing tonight ...

The good thing is that Lisa is bringing us dinner so that's one less thing I have to worry about. Man, I sure love all these dinners. It makes life insanely easier.

The other thing I have to do is prepare for Eleanor's Baptism this weekend. Her gown is pressed, thankfully, so there's nothing I need to do there. But we're now hosting the party afterward since Mom and E couldn't. And I've got a ton of stuff to get done around the house. I cleaned the kitchen cabinets last night so that's off the list. But I've got plenty to do otherwise, including weeding and re-mulching some of the gardens. Whoo boy.

Oh how we are loving her! (2w3d)

She's just perfect. And she looks so much like Hayes did as a baby, it's almost bizarre to look into her face. It's like taking a trip in a time machine.

(Though, if I'm being completely honest, she's prettier than he was.)

We had a good day today. She napped after every feeding and is currently sleeping soundly. I'll wake her around 11 to eat and if the past few nights are any indication of what's to come for tonight, she'll wake every 3 hours on the nose rooting around like mad.

She's a professional nurser, that's for certain. And we've finally found a pacifier she likes. I've been opposed to pacis before now for a variety of reasons, but this child is different. She needs to suck nearly constantly and unfortunately for her, I'm not willing to be her personal pacifier. I'm hurting today for it, though, that's for sure. My breasts feel like they're going to explode at any moment. Perhaps they'll carry her through the upcoming growth spurt?

Tomorrow I'm hoping that Dr. Bourque will give me the all-clear for driving because not only am I suffering from a severe case of cabin fever, Mary Beth has dancing tomorrow and the boys will be starting soccer this week as well. I need the freedom to be able to drive! Though with the gas shortages they're predicting, perhaps it's better if I don't get the privilege back quite yet ...

It's a ...

GIRL!

Eleanor Kathleen Perkins
August 28, 2008
11:15 am
8 pounds
18 1/2 inches

I'm destined to not go into labor. (39w3d)

I mean, what the shit?

Saw Dr. Bourque today. (39w3d)

I went to Dr. Bourque today instead of tomorrow because I was having irregular contractions all night and thought I might be leaking fluid. I'm not; it's cervical fluid/mucous, thank goodness. Still 1 cm dilated and now 60% effaced, so something's happening.

He said it could be today; it could be two weeks from now. I love that he's not rushing this process and I have time to just gestate without any issue. He said if we got to 42 weeks, he'd rupture my membranes if I'd like to try that route before going in for a section. I'll definitely opt for that, but still hoping I'll go on my own!

Okay, scratch that. Game on! (39w0d)

Just got a voice mail from my precious OB. He called to check on me and to tell me that he was heading to New Orleans but that he did speak to Dr. Padgett (who does not share rounds with Dr. Bourque nor is he on call this weekend - I know this because he's Elisabeth's OB) who said he would attend me should I go into labor!

Dr. B left me his cell number and said to call him if anything happens so he can advise me on what to do but that if I got to the hospital to tell them to call Dr. Padgett.

What a wonderful man that Dr. Bourque.

So come on baby! We're READY!!

Nothing like a last minute project. (39w0d)

Decided to redecorate the boy's room yesterday. Went on a wild goose chase for the perfect bedding and finally located it after walking the entire mall and several brick and mortar stores.

Jason's painting the room right now (he was loathe to paint over the stripes, but DeDe talked him into it finally). It's only taken me two years to talk him into this!

The room's going to be precious, though, and I cannot wait to see it!

I absolutely cannot go into labor tonight. Dr. Bourque's in New Orleans for the night and Dr. Daigle, aka "I don't do VBACs", is on call. Legs closed.

Tomorrow night would be great, though!

Went to a breastfeeding panel last night because Missy had been invited to speak. It was precious and she (and Kyle!) did such a good job. Dr. Melancon also spoke and I didn't realize exactly how passionate she is about breastfeeding. It was nice to hear it from her mouth. Her presentation was great. Ran into Darlene and she was so cute about the pregnancy. I wish she was a full time nurse over there!

Went to Alicia's afterward for Supper Club and we had a great time as usual. Was exhausted by the time I got home.

Fifty Days Coffee Free (38w5d)

And guess what I'm doing? Drinking a cup!

Guess why? Because I don't have low amniotic fluid, silly rabbit!

No more drinking a gallon of water a day! Drink to thirst! I can have coffee! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Yesterday's appt was awesome. Fluid was 12.1. Cervix is dilated to 1cm. 1 down, 9 to go ...

Coffee. Yum.

Thirty-Eight Weeks! Holy Smokes! (38w0d)

And so the countdown truly begins. I'm officially a week more pregnant than I've ever been. And the bizarre thing is, while I'm excited to meet this tiny being, I don't feel "done" being pregnant. Which, come to think of it, I might need to get to before labor starts ...

Anyway, today is a good day to go into labor, no? Or perhaps tomorrow when there's a full moon. Sunday would work too; that way I'd win the poll the family took. And of course, I'd get free range of name picking if I give birth on any day but Tuesday. (Jason is so convinced that the 19th is the day that he offered me a bet which I would have been an idiot not to take, especially considering the naming issues we've been having. New Baby arrives on the 19th, he gets to name it. Any other day, I get to.)

My friend Elisabeth is gearing up to go if she hasn't already. She lost her plug yesterday afternoon and was 1.5 cm at her appointment on Monday. I'm so excited for her but am a smidge envious! Though she is a week ahead of me ...

Perhaps we'll be in the hospital at the same time? (Please, God?)

Notes for myself. (37w5d)

Don't mind me. Just doing some research in case it's needed ...

Nipple Stimulation:
Start by applying warm compresses to both breasts, uncover one breast and begin use of pump. Using an electric breastpump, start by pumping on uncovered side for 15 min then switch sides and place warm compress on pumped side and begin pumping on other side, continue this alternation technique until regular strong and rhythmic contractions begin (usually 20-30 minutes) then stop...if contractions should begin to decline in strength or regularity, resume breast stimulation with breastpump for 5 min/side until the strength and regularity resumes. Contractions should be a minimum of (5) minutes apart lasting 60-90 seconds.

Appointment went perfectly today! (37w4d)

Nothing on the dilation front, but I'm okay with that. I trust that the contractions on Saturday night/Sunday day were doing something. What that something is is anyone's guess, but it's heading in the right direction!

Just waiting ...

Prodromal Labor (37w2d)

Contractions started last night around 5 pm. Got very regular - five minutes apart - at 8 pm. Continued to stay regular even after getting in the tub until I fell asleep at 3ish am. They were three minutes apart at this point.

By 8ish am, they were gone pecan.

I'm peaceful tonight and allowing my body to do its thing. Tonight the Rx is to rest.

Thirty-Seven Weeks + One Day! (37w1d)

The title says it all! It's awesome!!

Thought I might be in labor yesterday (again). Was contracting regularly all afternoon and through the night. Finally went to sleep after a nice bath after midnight. Woke up a couple of times with some painful-ish contractions, but nothing regular.

It's just a waiting game now!

Hayes was born at 37 weeks! (37w0d)

Today marks the day in my pregnancy that Hayes was born. And tomorrow I will be the MOST PREGNANT I'VE EVER BEEN!! I don't know why but this has been an incredibly important milestone to me and I'm just delighted that everything's right on track. Of course that remains to be seen at Tuesday's appointment, but I'm feeling good about it actually.

So I took the day off overdid it yesterday (like an absolute moron), but it was so nice to get stuff done. First I went to my prenatal massage, then to lunch with Elisabeth at Zoe's (which was delicious), then to Chelette's shop for a lovely pedicure, then to Target, then to the Mall for nursing pajamas (and a cinnamon roll from Cinnamonster - drooool), then home to rest, then to Walmart (ugh, just UGH), then to Sam's for printer ink for all these orders. Then I came home and cooked dinner for the troops which truly was delicious. Needlesstosay, my ankles were a bit swollen by the end of the night.

Today should be much calmer except I have to make an appearance at the Louisiana Open's Charity Luncheon where we give the money away that we made through the tournament and auction. It's always heartwarming, but my issue is sitting still for that long.

And Mitch is coming in today!! Yahooo!! I can't wait to see him ... it's been since our trip to Florida and that's just way too long to go without seeing my baby brother. We're grilling for the family tonight so that'll be fun too.

Labor Index for Friday, August 8th (36w6d)

Thought this was interesting:




Barometric pressure must be dropping. I've been following the map for about a week now just out of curiosity and it's the first time I've seen a hint of orange on the map even with Edouard around.

Michael would be ecstatic ... he's heading into town tomorrow. I'm so excited to see him.

Today I'm Taking the Day Off (36w6d)

Or: the day in which my incredible husband takes my children to Kisatchie National Forest for the entire day. And the day in which I get a prenatal massage, a pedicure, and do some minor shopping for New Baby.

Or in other words: YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Bree and Bill got here first thing in the morning yesterday and we had a great day. Kids ran each other ragged all day long, Jason and Bill went grocery shopping and ran the roads a little and Bree and I just got to visit and catch up.

I'm suddenly swamped with orders, which is a great thing. But I'm scrambling to get them done before New Baby makes his/her arrival. I've got one printed ... an LSU Tiger Luau theme, complete with custom artwork. They came out cute:



I've got a rehearsal dinner (designed, not yet approved) along with the coordinating place cards for the dinner; a wedding shower (they're deciding on design); a dinner party (designed, not printed); and birth announcements (sort of designed on paper, not yet in the computer). (Plus our own birth announcements at some point!)

Nonetheless, it looks like I've got plenty to do before New Baby arrives!

Happy Half Birthday to my twinkies! (36w4d)

Today is the twins' half birthdays, making them a whopping 4 1/2 years old. Which is just insanely hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday they were born.



Seems like forever ago at the same time ...

Appointment went extremely well with Dr. Bourque today. No measuring of amniotic fluid level which I was so excited about. Makes me realize that he's just being cautious and not trying to stiff arm me into anything. Trust, Megan, trust.

BP was excellent. Weight gain is great (25 lbs, 6 of which has been in the last two weeks ... whoops!). Saturday will mark 37w1d, or otherwise known as "the most pregnant I've ever been". Absolutely cannot WAIT to hit that milestone!

Bill and Bree are on their way here and I'm excited to see them. It's going to be a good visit, I can feel it. A good distraction for me, that's for sure.

Sunday BP Check (36w2d)

My friend Emily just came over to do my BP. She says I have what is called "orthostatic hypertension" which is an elevated blood pressure when sitting or standing. My initial readings were elevated, but lying down gave me 120/86, which is within normal range, albeit a little elevated for me.

It actually sort of makes sense because I'm having a little bit of circulation issues when I'm sitting or standing ... where I'll feel my pinky toe start to swell and then it moves on in and upward to my ankles. Once I lie down, though, it's all better.

I'm sure it's just a baby positioning issue and only temporary and not true PIH. So I'm just going to insist that my pressure be taken when I'm lying down at Dr. Bourque's. Problem solved. Wala!

Totally thought I was in labor in the middle of the night last night when I was woken up with strong menstrual-cramp-like contractions. Don't know how far apart they were as I didn't have a clock nearby, but they were frequent enough to keep me up for a couple of hours. Finally went back to sleep ... I guess when they petered out. Nice to know my body's gearing up, though!

Hanging in there. (36w0d)

Am so relieved to have made it to 36 weeks. Now just one more week and I will breathe easier.

Appointment went well this week. Initial check of my BP was insane -- 144/104 -- but after I asked for a repeat check, it was 122/82, which was much, much better. Jordon did an internal, much to my dismay, and I'm a fingertip dilated and softening. Not that it means much ...

Fluid level still hanging in at 6.5 cm. I think they'll do another scan on Tuesday to see where we are. Dr. Bourque mentioned that the growth scan was good for two weeks, so that means we just need the fluid to hold out and we'll be safe for another week.

Bree and Bill get here on Tuesday and I'm excited to see them. It'll be a good distraction ... hoping that I'm not having a baby while they're here!

Confidence Restored (35w4d)

So I went by Hali's house on Sunday night to have her check my blood pressure. I'd long suspected that I suffer from severe psychological "white coat syndrome" where I get incredibly nervous about having my blood pressure checked. The reading of 138/104 at Dr. Bourque's last week and the subsequent of 122/90 made me even more suspicious because the difference in those two is pretty significant if we're talking PIH.

And I'm happy to report that my blood pressure is totally, 100%, without a doubt NORMAL. 118/78. And taken again on the other arm: 122/82.

I have my "36w" appointment today and am glad to have this news to cart along with my nervous nelly self. We'll recheck for fluid index again (what I'm doing up at five am -- drinking my water before the appointment) and hopefully we're holding steady.

Naturally, I'm holding out hope that since New Baby's moved positions a bit, s/he's opened up a pocket of fluid to get me off their radar. But perhaps I'm shooting too high. Holding steady is good enough, no?

Keeping fingers crossed ... update to come ...

Fun with the kids (35w1d)

When we go to the library, I usually let the kids each check out four or five books that look interesting to them for night reading. One of them picked up Cook-a-Doodle-Doo! by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel. We've read books by them before; our favorite being Plaidypus Lost which is catchy and cute and actually pretty funny.

Cook-a-Doodle-Doo! is yet another precious story by the two sisters and the kids and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. At the end there was a recipe for the strawberry shortcake the animals made in the book, so naturally we just had to make one ourselves! I'll let you know how it tastes ...

NST went perfectly well (again). (34w6d)

Everything's fine and dandy. They checked my blood pressure and it was sky high but knowing that I suffer from white coat syndrome, they thankfully checked it again several minutes later and it was fine.

Whew.

Go back on Tuesday for a repeat u/s.

Went to confession after my appointment and it felt really good just to vent my heart's frustrations to Father McGill. He's so precious and gave me some good, sound advice.

Am tired this afternoon and ready for bed already. And it's only 4 pm. What's for dinner, you ask? No earthly idea.

The twins were born on this day of my pregnancy (34w5d)

... and that is just insane to think about! I'm nowhere near ready to bring a baby home. Not that New Baby's making an appearance in the next few days. Next few weeks? Yes. But certainly not the next few days.

Jason took the baby clothes out of the attic yesterday and I started washing them. We looked through them together and "awwwwed" away because baby clothes are just so tiny and cute. The kids thought it cool as well, especially Hayes, to see itty bitty clothes they used to wear.

Last night we had date night with Elisabeth and David. We took them to Ruth's since, well, since it's free (and of course because it's delicious). The company was exceptional too. They are so easy to be around and their love for each other is obvious. I hope that we end up in the hospital delivering on the same day. How cool would that be? We've already decided that Jason and David could sneak out of the hospital together, have a cocktail at Ruth's and then bring us gals dinner back to the hospital. Sounds like a plan to me!

Today I'm getting my hair cut, colored and hi-lighted. A last ritual of sorts. Am booking a pedicure/manicure for next week (or maybe the next?) and getting settled to get going with some birthing.

Have been doing well on the regimen to reduce PIH/Pre-E though it's sometimes hard to eat 100g of protein. That's a lot of protein. But hopefully my blood pressure will be fine on Tuesday and I'll feel confident that it's working. I still have ankles, no headaches, no spots in front of my eyes, so I'm feeling good that everything is just fine. But still.

Mom sent out a prayer request through Theresians yesterday so I once again have women all over the world praying for me. And it feels incredibly peaceful. Hoping his grace descends upon me for Tuesday and I can maintain peace and calmness through my entire being.

NST went perfectly well. (34w4d)

Just as I figured, yet it was still a nice relief (this seems to be a running theme for the week). The nurse mentioned that they were looking for two heart accelerations (not decels) within 20 minutes that were 15 seconds long each. And New Baby pulled out all the stops before falling asleep 10 minutes into the test and gave us four sets of accelerations.

Go back on Thursday for a repeat performance and again on Tuesday for a re-check of fluid. Am trying desperately to relax and take this one day at a time but I'm not doing so well with that, which makes me worry that my blood pressure is going to be sky high very soon. Sigh.

All I want is to be pregnant and growing a life inside of me. Why all the worry and anxiety? And why can't I just go with the flow of what's going on and remain calm? What's preventing me from just letting go and trusting my body to do what it's doing and just simply not allowing all these outward influences to affect me?

My prayer lately has been complete surrender to God and to his will. And I was crying to Mom on Saturday about why I just can't do this and she had the simplest of answers. It's because we, as human beings, aren't able to just surrender. It takes God's grace to do so. So, God? I felt your grace when we found out we were having twins and at their subsequent birth. I've felt your grace surrounding us when we were discerning homeschooling. And your grace has been palpable countless other times in my life. Please, Lord, be with me during this time. Allow me to feel your presence and to trust in your will. Help me let go of the notion that your will needs to match mine and to see that my will needs to match yours because yours is what is best for me. Amen.

One of the top five days in Jason's life. (34w2d)

(Or Day 5 of the Beach)

He smiles every time he talks about this day. It started with a private fishing charter for him, Ryan, Michael, Brandt and Dad. They awoke at 5 am and were on the boat by 6 catching their bait for the day.

They loved their captain and the first mate, Vinny, who took them on a whirl of a fishing trip. They caught several king mackerel and their only regret is that they didn't bring Hayes along because he would have had a blast.

Uncle Harry brought Hayes to the marina to greet them, though, and that was almost good enough.



The day continued with a nap for Jason (I was on the beach, of course) and we left the houses around 3 pm to head to the Hilton Serenity Day Spa for massages that Uncle Harry and Aunt Dru had booked for me, Em, Kendall, Jennifer, Aunt Dru, Jason and Ryan. My massage was divine and I actually had ankles afterward which were nice to see for the first time in almost a week.

After our massages, we got ready in the spa and headed to dinner at Seagar's which is located inside the Hilton. When I tell you that this dinner was incredible ... oh my God, it was absolutely divine.

Firstly, H and Drus had the kids taken care of so we were sans kids. And we were on strict instructions to spare no expense and eat like royalty. And so we did ...

Seafood towers consisting of steamed Alaskan King Crab Legs, Lobster and Shrimp; Crawfish Beignets; the most delicious salads, one of which the dressing was made tableside; bone-in filets cooked to perfection; grouper with a panko crust topped with a lemon and caper beurre blanc (quite possibly the best entree I've ever ordered at a restaurant); and finished with the most amazing banana's foster once again made tableside.

This dinner was insane it was so good. The only thing I regret is not being able to partake in the wine tasting, because we easily ordered over $1,000 in wine. Nonetheless, it was a wonderful treat and we are forever grateful for H and Drus ... two of the most generous people we've ever known.

Caricatures are making progress ... (34w1d)

Closeup of Em and I:



I cannot wait to see the final result!

My favorite Christmas gift springs to life. (34w0d)

Dad and Patti usually give us cash for Christmas, which of course is always welcomed. This year, however, we received something even more spectacular.

They made a donation in each of our names (the kids, but not spouses) to Hospice in Momma Flossie's name. It was a beautiful and profound gift because Hospice was such a gift to us in the last few days of her life.

In turn, though, we each get our faces painted on a wall in La Fonda, a local landmark of a restaurant that's been around since nearly the dawn of time. We grew up eating (and drinking half and halfs -- half margarita, half sangria) there and have had many a hilarious night within the walls of that building. They've had murals of faces painted on the walls for as long as I can remember and they've just recently decided to add more.

And so without further ado, here's the beginning of Dad, Patti, Emily, Me, and above us, Michael and Ryan. It's going to be fun watching this come to life.

Ding, Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead! (33w6d)

I referenced what I'm about to talk about here.

And here's my recap from the day in question (June 12th). Bold is mine for reasons pertaining to previous entry:

Yesterday was cleaning day. We're minding our own business, praise and worship music is playing over the stereo system (not of utter importance, but you'll understand why I mention it in a moment), Jason's mopping the living room and I'm vacuuming the back of the house and the kids are playing "go fish" together in the playroom. Life is good, you know? I've been on a major purging of the house in the past couple of weeks and now I'm pretty much performing maintenance on what's left. Regular ole cleaning after I'd gotten a well deserved facial earlier in the morning.

Jason comes in the back and says, "CPS is here."

Say whaaaaa?

I enter the living room not knowing at all what to expect and let the social worker introduce herself. Her name's Carmen and she needs to speak with us because they're launching an investigation. But she needs to speak with us separately. Is that okay?

Uhmmm, I guess?

I go first. Usher the kids back into the playroom and explain that I'll come and get them in a minute. Jason heads outside to light the pit because we're having company over for dinner and we need to get started grilling the ribs we've prepared.

She covers the basics. Asks our names, kids' names, ages, about our jobs, etc. I'm a SAHM, "so you're here all day with the kids?". Yes, for the most part. "Do they play outside?" Uhm, yes, of course they do?

"Well, Mrs. Perkins, that's why I'm here."

"You're here because my kids play outside?"

"Yes."

"Is this a joke?" (I actually said this).

"No, it's not."

She goes through the complaint. The caller says they haven't seen Jason or I outside in over a year. (WHAT? My gardens don't plant, water or weed themselves, first off.) The kids play unsupervised all day long. (I'm sorry, again, WHAT? Yeah, they're in and out of the house all day but I know where they are. I'm out there with them, but sometimes not, though I'm always within earshot, like say in the kitchen cooking?) The youngest is about two years old and they started playing outside about six months ago, making the "baby" 18-months. (I'm sorry, but the twins are now almost four-and-a-half). There's occasionally a pregnant teenager who is outside with them. (I think this is a compliment, but I'm not sure). They don't play in the road, but ride their bikes on the sidewalk. In fact, they were outside at 7:50 this morning. (The horror!)

I'd love to say that I maintained my cool and calmly explained that this caller is on crack. Alas, I was stuck on the fact that child protection services was inside my house and launching an investigation and it seemed that all I could do was cry and keep saying, "I'm so confused". And answer her questions, of course, but logic and reasoning was not on my side at the moment.

Carmen explains that our kids are too young to play outside without constant supervision. That if anything were to happen we could lose custody of our children. Okay, so in the front yard they need to be supervised. Gotcha. "No, Mrs. Perkins, in the back yard as well." (Our back yard is fenced. No pool. Just roses and a swingset.)

Say whaaaa?

Luckily, I managed not to get hysterical and was enough sound mind to realize she probably had to say these things, but I did manage to ask her if my kids were too young, then what would be considered an appropriate age?

Oh, they don't really have one. It depends on each child (makes sense). But six and four-and-a-half are too young (doesn't make sense at all. I mean if it depends on each child, shouldn't it be UP TO THE PARENTS?). Okay. Whatever. I need to get up off this couch before I throw up.

She interviews the kids one by one. I felt completely uncomfortable with this notion but was thinking that if I didn't comply, then what? I could hear the basics of what she was asking (what are your favorite chores, do you play outside, are there any rules you have to follow, etc.) and Hayes was doing wonderfully (making my bed, yes, oh yes! we can't go past the sidewalk and we have to wear our helmets when riding our bikes or scooters) so I started to relax once I realized she wasn't going to be leading them even though the chores part made me freak initially.

She talks to Jason. She asks us if we have any questions. I'm sure I do, but there's no way I could possibly string more than two words together at this point. She gives me her card and tells me I can call her if I need. She leaves.

We sit here for several minutes just shaking our heads and wondering what on earth just happened.

I had the absolute worst night sleep last night that I've had in my entire life. I sobbed on and off the whole night not because I thought there was any validity to the claim (I mean, I'm not the pregnant babysitter) but because mothering is the one area in my life where I'd like to think I'm actually pretty good. And having CPS show up at your door most certainly isn't an affirmation of that.

Today my head was a little more clear, though foggy from lack of sleep and I knew that I had to talk with the social worker again before the weekend. I just couldn't wrap my brain around such a claim. How could this person, whoever they are -- obviously not a direct neighbor as we know all of them and they'd certainly not mistake me for a babysitter -- not be able to describe us? How could it possibly be that they would mistake an almost four-and-a-half-year-old for a two-year-old? And how could they possibly see the kids playing outside "unsupervised" enough times to warrant a call to CPS? Do they not realize that CPS is obligated to launch an investigation? Do they not realize the seriousness of the claim they are making? I mean, it would be one thing if, say, my kids were playing in the road or doing things that could be seen as dangerous. But riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk between our driveway and the neighbor's with helmets on?

So anyway. I called her just to talk. Apologized for taking up her time but that I feel like I didn't process anything she told us yesterday and just had some questions. She was very nice and said she'd been anticipating my call. Apparently I was that obvious yesterday and she mentioned that it was pretty apparent that I'd never been investigated before. It took everything I had to not say, "Never been investigated? Lady, I don't even know anyone who's been investigated by CPS."

On that note, I'm sure she had to think twice when she walked inside. The house is utterly spotless. It's never looked better, actually. The kids are pleasantly playing "go fish" together in the playroom (they could have just as easily been dangling from the Bradford pear branches out front -- their new favorite pastime and thank God they weren't). Jason and I are cleaning. And jamming to Christian rock. The situation couldn't have looked better to CPS than if we'd been in a prayer circle holding hands.

So anyway, onto my conversation with her ... I saw on the DSS website last night that claims are rendered either valid or invalid. Does improper information (the ages of one of the twins -- probably MB because she's smaller than Sam -- and myself being misidentified) warrant the claim automatically invalid? (Because in my head, it should). She says that she can't see any reason this claim won't be filed as invalid. Mentions that she's been doing this for a long time and you can pretty much tell upon entering a house if something is amiss. And if something isn't. And that Jason and I are obviously caring parents who aren't at all guilty of abuse or neglect.

Big sigh of relief. HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF.

So if this claim is found invalid, do we have some sort of permanent record? No. It's not unlike being wrongfully accused of something. There's still a file out there that it happened, but it's not hanging out there waiting to be used if, God forbid, we'd ever be investigated again.

Even bigger sigh.

Is the reporter of this kept updated? And if not, can we request they be? (Because I'll be damned if this is going to happen again. Nosy Nelly Neighboorhood Watchman needs to know the facts of the situation.) They're not normally, but the SW said she'd be happy to call them and inform them.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I drank about 3 oz of wine and took a four hour nap (Jason was watching the kids) and feel immensely better about the situation. I'll feel even better once I have the letter from the state in my hands stating that the case is closed and findings were invalid.

Never, ever, in my life have I heard of anything like this happening to anyone. I mean, CPS gets called and you're a shitty parent, you know? Perhaps I need not be so quick to judge. And honestly, I'm glad there are people out there that care enough about the welfare of other people's children. But I'd like to imagine that if I were to call CPS on someone, I'd make damned sure I had enough facts in the situation before making the call.

So I spoke with Carmen yesterday who said the CASE IS CLOSED AND FOUND INVALID! We totally knew they would be, but it's entirely different to know it for sure. I feel as if an enormous weight I didn't even realize I was carrying has been lifted off my shoulders.

Of course, I still wish it had never happened, but above all I know there is a lesson in it. There always is ... it's the way life works. And we either choose to learn the lesson or we'll be dealt it again in another form until we do. Sometimes the problem is figuring out what exactly that lesson is. (Or perhaps lessons -- who couldn't do with a double-doozie from time to time?)

One of the lessons I'm certain of is that there really is an existence of evil that needs to be recognized for what it is. This was confirmed for me when I read Charlie's blog entry about similar feelings and how Satan was preying on their weaknesses. Of course, I'm not comparing a simple visit from Child Protection Services and the illness and subsequent death of a precious child, so please don't get me wrong. Just the idea that there is evil all around us and only once we recognize it can we place it where it belongs.

My friend, Chelette, calls this "damning the devil back to hell" and the first time she told me about it I was really, really skeptical. I just couldn't believe she would speak words like, "Satan, go back to hell" outloud. But she swore by it at that moment and explained that he can't hear our thoughts, only our words, so it's important to say it outloud.

And I can't say that I disagree with her. As soon as my mom mentioned to me during the days following the investigation that there's an evil we need to be aware of, I knew exactly what she was saying. And as soon as I recognized what (and who) was at work, preying on the area of my life I am the most proud of, it allowed me to maintain a calm and a perspective about the situation that I certainly didn't feel beforehand.

This calm (and trust in God) also allowed me to go several weeks without calling Carmen. And when I spoke with her yesterday, she'd only closed the case at the end of last week. So calling before that would have only made me sick with worry that they were continuing to investigate.

But now ... case closed. Let's just hope the lesson(s) is learned.